Third Date
by Pointed Teeth
Summary: One Shot. Iruka gets some help when he takes a ninja class on a small outing. The jounin learn new respect of teachers. [KakaIru, GenmaRaidou.]


Title: Third Date  
Genre: Humour  
Characters: Kakashi, Iruka, Genma, Raidou, small horde of ninja kids  
Comments: Iruka gets some help when he takes a ninja class on a small outing. The jounin learn new respect of teachers.  
Status: One Shot, Complete.

* * *

Raidou was cold, wet, mostly naked, and distinctly pissed off. He also had two children of indiscriminate age hanging from each arm and _another_ perched on his shoulders. It (how were you supposed to tell what gender they were? The damn things all looked the same) was tugging at his hitai-ate.

Someone was going to die. Preferably Genma, the traitor.

"Having fun, Raidou?"

Followed by Iruka.

A sopping wet bulldog barrelled into the back of him, knocking the Jounin – children and all – back into the river.

Kakashi was third on the list.

Flailing desperately, Raidou managed to dislodge most of the brats and surfaced with a gasp, water cascaded everywhere as he spluttered. The possibly male child sat on his shoulders shrieked delightedly and flung his arms around Raidou's neck, inadvertently choking the Jounin.

There was more flailing.

Fortunately Genma, who was splashing nearby, waded over and removed the child before Raidou expired or did something jutsu-related to the little monster. Slinging the boy over his shoulder the younger man looked down at his half-drowned friend and smiled crookedly, "enjoying yourself?"

Raidou spat out some river water, "I hate you."

Genma tossed the – he was almost positive it was a boy - child back into the stream and cheerfully flexed a bicep, "how could anyone hate this?"

"Oh, shut up."

"Well, aren't we just Mister Sunshine?" Iruka commented mildly as he splashed over. A small girl perched on the teacher's shoulder grasped his sopping ponytail tightly to keep herself balanced; the chuunin appeared not to notice.

"Iruka," gasped Raidou, as he fought to get his breath back, "you're either a saint or certifiably insane, how do you put up with these… _things_?"

Iruka shrugged, "they're not so bad, they even have their uses…" He gestured towards the opposite bank where a positive horde of children were in pursuit of about twenty Kakashi clones, the real copy-nin was nowhere in sight, "like keeping _him_ busy."

Genma laughed dryly and then yelped as he was ambushed by another hoard. He disappeared under a welter of screaming children as Raidou and Iruka escaped to the bank. They stood laughing as Genma fought for his dignity and life as well as he could without actually injuring any of the children.

It was fortunate that ninja children tended to be hardier than the regular kind…

Iruka gently detached the small girl from his ponytail and tossed her carefully back into the river. The teacher smiled affectionately at the screaming flock of academy children and sat down on the riverbank, dangling his feet into the water.

Raidou adjusted the clingy fabric of his long swimming trunks and slumped down next to him. "How do you keep this up?"

"Hmm?"

"This!" Raidou's wave took in the screaming children, Genma's futile attempts at escape and Kakashi's multiple clones, "it's worse than an S-class."

Iruka laughed, "they aren't usually this rowdy, and it's easier to control them when you have them trapped in one room. Especially when you're standing in front of the only exit."

"The windows?"

"Booby trapped."

"None lethal?"

"…for the most part."

"You're a smart man."

"I had good teachers."

Raidou smiled and stretched out on the bank, allowing the afternoon sun to dry him. "Would you believe some countries have _snow_ in winter?"

"I know, how weird would that be?" Iruka shook his head at the folly of those countries that actually _chose_ to freeze during winter, instead of doing what normal people did – like catching a few rays, teaching the brats a bit about having fun, teaching a certain silver-haired genius not to underestimate the power of a (wrathful) teacher… the usual stuff.

Raidou looked up at one of those rare perfect skies, blue – and proper blue, none of that washed out baby blue, but a real _blue _blue. A few pale clouds whisped happily in the distance, doing their cloud thing. It was a faultless moment, hanging in the air like one of those bubbles children (the non-ninja kind) blew. Round, perfect and full of shiny possibilities.

"Yo."

Pop.

Iruka leaned up on one elbow and glared at the copy-nin who had sprawled himself next to them. The man was a champion sprawler; he could make spikes look comfortable by leaning on them. With a warm, sunny bank to stretch out on the man was in his element.

The twig sticking out of the sliver bush the man called hair was the only thing that spoiled the picture of utter boredom.

Raidou blinked when Iruka extracted the twig and then swatted Kakashi with it. He was even more surprised when the copy-nin not only moved without complaint but also looked slightly hurt as he did so (insofar as Raidou could tell from the one eye he could see). He watched in puzzled silence as the Jounin joined Genma in the river and was summarily tackled by an onslaught of delighted children.

After a moment of silence, punctuated only by the distant shrieks and splashes, Raidou slanted a look at Iruka. The teacher was scrutinising a nearby tree with an intensity that suggested it contained the secrets of effective child-tranquilizers.

"So…?" He prompted.

"'So' what?"

"Don't be obtuse Iruka, what's going on between you and Kashi?"

"Nothing!" The answer was slightly too hasty to be anything but a lie.

Raidou rolled his eyes, "Iruka, I'm not one of your students."

The chuunin blushed slightly and sighed, "really nothing. The idiot showed up at my house half-dead about a week ago and I made the mistake of dumping him in hospital instead of letting him bleed to death on my rug."

"And now he won't leave you alone?"

"Pretty much."

"Did you let him thank you?"

"Did I- …what?"

"Did you let him thank you? Kashi's kind of weird, and he hates having debts. He probably just wants to make sure he doesn't owe you anything."

"…and what, exactly, would 'thanking me' entail?"

"Could be anything from fixing your roof to giving you a honey massage."

"A _what_?"

"Honey massage."

"As in, with actual honey?"

"Yup, they're really quite nice."

Iruka, who by this point was a rather interesting shade of red, gave him a dubious look.

Raidou flapped a disarming hand, "no not _me._ Kashi knows he doesn't owe me anything." He indicated the ridged scars that whorled across his face and chest, "I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him, the copy-nin owes me nothing."

Iruka's blinked, "he saved you?"

"To put it lightly, he took a fire jutsu in the back for me. Ask him to show you the scars sometime."

"Oh." Iruka sat back and directed a thoughtful look at the copy-nin. Who, now that Raidou was paying attention, was moving slightly more cautiously than normal. Back injury perhaps? Or was it the ribs?

Iruka nudged him, distracting the Jounin from his musings, "so, what about you?"

Raidou looked at him blankly, "What about me?"

"You know, you and Genma?"

Oh.

_Oh._

"Uh, well…"

"Third date!" Genma had apparently been eavesdropping from the river. Raidou felt his face flush as Iruka grinned at him; there was a certain foxy quality to that grin.

Raidou was definitely going to grievously injure someone before the day was over…

"Third date, huh?" Iruka asked, sunny expression back in place now the conversation had moved away from all things honey-related.

"Yeah."

"So… sex?" Raidou felt his eyebrows shoot up, anyone who thought Iruka was a harmless, mild mannered teacher apparently had a few lessons to learn.

"Um… that would have been the first date."

"Ah, mission sex?"

"Something like that."

"Any good?"

Who _was_ this person? And where the hell had Iruka gone!

"…well, it's hard to have morning-after-awkwardness when you're running for your life." Raidou muttered after a discreet examination of the man that had replaced Iruka. He seemed, in fact, to still be Iruka.

The teacher nodded, "I guess so. Oh, watch out."

"What?"

Raidou found exactly 'what' when an enthusiastic, and very wet, Genma bowled into him from behind and dragged him into the river. He surfaced and stared for a moment at the two Genma's before one of them vanished in a cloud of sulphur smoke.

Clone. Right. Duh.

Before he had a chance to do something intricate and painful to his one-time-friend (the term 'boyfriend' would not be used by anyone who had a particular attachment to their oesophagus) another small child of indiscriminate gender landed on his shoulder blades and forced him back under the water.

Someone was going to die, oh yes. Preferably a certain senbon-sucking someone.

He was _never _going to let Genma choose an 'outing' for them again. 'Third date' indeed.

* * *

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